LESSONS FOR A TEENAGE COUNTRY

Rwanda as we know it is only thirteen years old, like any fresh faced teenager she is going through changes. She is experiencing growth in places she never had growth before, she is now attracting attention as an up and coming contender for the years to come. When she looks around at her older sisters around her namely Uganda, Kenya and Tanzania; she can learn valuable lessons about the road to development. Rwanda bears little resemblance to its namesake of 13 years ago, indeed the name and geographical location is the only commonality. It has been changed by the influence of many returnees take this conversation I heard when I first returned to Rwanda.

“Gute rero?”
“Niko Bien sana!”
“Ibyanje ni sawa.”
“OK. Co-paye, ubundi”


That is a typical conversation in Rwanda, it contains Rwandese, Kirundi, Swahili, French, English and just about every influence that Rwandese face. In my travels in East Africa, I had fresh eyes because I had not seen Africa for so long that things jumped up at me. In Uganda and Kenya I saw the result of corruption and a stagnant political system that relied on patronage.



I can honestly say that my first ever hero was not Superman, or Batman, or Spiderman; it was Yoweri Museveni. I was playing in our house in Westlands, Nairobi in January 1986 when I heard the news that we Rwandans were one step closer to home as the NRA; which contained thousands of our Rwandan boys had liberated Kampala. My father left a comfortable life in Nairobi to return to Uganda. Life was hard at first; money was worthless as there weren’t any products in the shops to buy. It was a daily struggle following the rumor-mill that someone somewhere had some sugar for sale or rice or bread. As times got better the circumstances changed; Rwandese went from being Liberators to foreign invaders and despite all the blood we shed for that country and being born there we couldn’t even get basic citizenship.



Museveni went from viewing the Rwandese as his main asset; as we were deeply loyal and unquestioning, to seeing us as a liability; as he was first accused of favouring them to even being accused of being one himself. Despite the deep historical ties that bind Rwanda and Ankole, it was step too far for him to accept us and thus the seeds of the RPF movement were sown. The reasons for this go back to colonial times with the divide and conquer tactics of the British.



When the RPF government abolished all tribal recognition in 1994, it was for several reasons. The first was to stop all potential for future tribal enmity that had resulted in the genocide. However there are other reasons for this, tribalism fuels nepotism, ignorance, and corruption, it hinders any chances of equal development. You see this first hand in Uganda. Museveni went from trying to abolish tribal politics to perfecting it to his own needs. The Baganda were the first test case for him; the 1900 Buganda treaty had given them preferential treatment as a reward for being the first to accept British rule. The first mistake the British made was giving them special status and naming the country after them, it has meant they view themselves as the defining force in the country. When the NRM came to power it faced it first big problem in whether or not to restore the Buganda Kingdom; it did after much prevarication and in so-doing had to restore all the other kingdoms and thus fragmenting an already fragmented country.


Today Uganda is an absolute mess, the prevailing story is that is developed and has moved forward but in many ways it has moved backwards. Sure there are new buildings everywhere and some of the money has gone good use but there was absolutely no planning involved. Buildings have sprouted up everywhere with no thought given to the location and needs of the user. It is still donor-funded after 21 years and the IMF need a a success story so it has to keep pressing the message that it is doing well.



CALIFORNICATION

The Red Hot Chili Pepper had a big hit song called “Californication” which is a corruption of “Californialisation” which generally alludes to the world simply imitating California. This is what has happened in Uganda, malls have sprung up everywhere and poor locals can spend an afternoon wandering like Jews in the desert of modernity. I saw this first hand in Shoprite; a South African chain that defines this new African modernity. A family was shopping but you could tell they were not even used to wearing shoes as they were walking funny, they filled their trolley with goods and took their time as they walked around only to leave the trolley at the till because the fantasy was over. For the hour they walked around they were just as good as anybody.



I heard a Ugandan say to me with the utmost pride “we are just like Europe, we even have Gay bars!” and within a minute the power cut. Yup, you still have regular power-cuts, you still have bad slums, and you still have one of the dirtiest cities you’ll ever see. I longed for the days when Baganda women were all fat and waddling along in their Gomis dresses. It took me a week to see a fat woman in a Gomis and that was in Busoga. The infrastructure is creaking, not much has been built in decades since the British left; the traffic was atrocious, the manners and lack of general etiquette was astounding.



Kampala is a big lie; it is the result of centralization, all the development that was meant for the whole country is compacted into one city. The rest of the country is a barren wasteland but Kampala is a dirty jewel and all the money meant for the nation is ploughed into the city. The North is choking from neglect, the west is developing a little, the East is decaying but the centre in just moving along. The chief architect of this is Yoweri Museveni; a man purely concerned with his own survival.


Corrupt Head of Government – Museveni

The Swahili have a saying “Siku za Mwizi ni arbaini” a thief only has 40 days, it isn’t to be taken literally but it means the days of a thief are finite. Museveni has just tottered along for 21 years, growing in greed but he might have met his demise in a moment of hubris. The Commonwealth Heads of Government was meant to Uganda moment of pride, a great coming out party but it could be its moment of shame. The dirt is worse than ever, the corruption is worse, the potholes are bursting and Uganda will be exposed for being over-ambitious. The fleet of BMW’s that have been bought for the occasion will scrape their bottoms along potholes and he might realize why BMW’s with lowered suspension aren’t popular in Uganda. The graft is stuff of legend; some cronies have been given as much as $ 1 million yes, $1 million to buy cutlery, according to Charles Onyango-Obbo, a big tax-evasion racket has been successful with hotels buying equipment for 20,000 rooms when they only have 2,000 and selling the rest on the black-market.



The tribal patronage is still the same, big-men or top cronies are meant to deliver tribal blocs under his rule. The usual suspects are still there Ruhakana Ruganda delivers the Bakiga, Kirunda Kivejinja brings home the Basoga, Chairman Mao the Acholi, and a host of other cronies abound. I even saw a funny article where Museveni advised the Teso to vote “wisely next time if they wanted more ministerial seats” that showed that he didn’t choose his ministers on merit but on a quota system based on cronyism.



As I left Uganda I saw one of the worst roads I have ever seen, 300 km of sheer hell that was a bumpy as a rocking chair. Ugandans have to realize they deserve more than this, gone are the days of war, when they slept under their beds and didn’t have sugar, now they need a new vision. A new direction because their leader is clearly out of ideas, the opposition doesn’t offer that vision, they just want change for the sake of it.



When I got to the border, I was glad to see the back of Uganda, I remember a border guard asking me for some money after I had crossed; which showed his lack of basic common sense. I remember a saying of a Western Journalist in his travels in Africa “If a border-guard asks you for a bribe then you are in a democracy, if they just rob you then it’s a dictatorship.”


I got to the Kenyan border and was asked for my yellow-fever inoculation, I realized I didn’t have one. The woman in the next counter was smug as she produced hers on demand, only to be asked for her dengue-fever card. If she had that then it would be a ebola card, or a malaria card. The moral of the story was she had to produce a bribe, I swiftly slipped 200 shillings into my passport and the matter was dealt with, while the lady sweated for a hour and nearly missed her bus. WELCOME TO KENYA the sign said.