ARE YOU BEING SERVED?
If you are in Africa then chances are that you are not, standards of service in Africa vary so much that it is hard to guess what you are going to get. Rwanda in particular suffers from really bad service, and by that I mean bad, really terrible. The irony is that everyone complains about it, and yet nothing gets done. Even restaurant owners complain about the standards of service and yet nothing is ever said to the staff. The Rwandese are very like the British in that respect; they hate to complain, but if they don’t then things will stay the same. My favourite TV show is Fawlty Towers; it is a case study in the English character. In one of the best episodes a brash and loud American arrives late in the night and demands a dinner; however the chef is off duty or drunk and Fawlty has to improvise. He demands a Waldorf salad, which Basil is not familiar with, so the usual farce ensues. The genius of this comedy is that it works on two levels; Americans laugh at the poor level of service, while the British laugh at the fact that the Americans had the temerity to complain.
The British are almost incapable of complaining; quite the opposite, they moan. I will explain; they grumble and mumble behind the back of their hand. You could serve a British person a mud-salad and all you’d get is a slight grumble; they would grumble and not come back. In service you get what you accept, you accept what you are accustomed to, it all depends on your aspirations. Unless you are exposed to higher standards then you are never going to expect better; likewise if you never have competition then you are never going to serve better. The first problem with Africa is our attitudes to service, with such high levels of unemployment most middle-class people can afford a servant. Servants are sometimes treated well but are often treated with disdain and even callousness depending on the person employing them. This attitude often extends to staff in the service sector; and this attitude is reflected back by the staff. The first rule is to treat staff with respect and they will respect you; do not see their status as a reflection of their character.
When I first went to the UK I had a shocking experience; having lived in Africa for most of my childhood I was used to myth of White people being superior beings. I wanted a meal so I went to a nearby restaurant; I had a measly £10 to my name but was well-received in this establishment by a man in his 40’s who was referring to me as “Sir”. I was shocked by an older man calling me Sir; pulled a chair for me, placed a napkin on my lap and generally made me feel like a king. I wondered why he was treating me so well when there was so much racism in society; but I realised that he was talking to my money. That is the basic rule of good customer service; don’t think of the person, think of the money. People in Africa often confer service on the general status of the person when in reality service should be standard; it is the only way to make it second nature. If people have to think of how to give good service then they are doomed to fail; it is like a soldier doesn’t think about discipline, it is drilled into his nature.
Customers should start to demand higher levels of service; there is a saying that “in life you get what you accept.” Customers have to know their rights as the reason why the place is in business; if there are no customers then there is no business. The Americans believe that the customer is king; therefore they have very high standards indeed. Americans will complain at the slightest problem with service and demand a lot for their money; therefore they receive more. This is determined by the high level of competition; if they do not receive good service then they go elsewhere and they do not go quietly.
It is one of the biggest shocks for a foreigner or Rwandan from the Diaspora to see the shocking levels of service in some local establishments; even the President has said that something needs to done about the issue. I met my brother for a meal and the waiter was picking his nose while scratching his testicles; my brother didn’t even notice it but I was shocked. I was in the bank and was leaned up against the counter when someone managed to squeeze in and engage in what can only be called inane banter. “Ko wa buze? Ko wanyanze?” How come you’re lost? Why did you reject me? This went on for a while; Rwandans are the World Champions at idle-talking. Hours can pass without anything of value being said; they can say “Bite se?” for hours, back and forth. I eventually got my money.
When I complain about the level of service I am seen as either too westernised or dragging my country down; but is that so? Rwanda has made massive steps forward because our leaders have decided that certain standards had to be raised. Kigali is one of the cleanest cities in Africa but it was not always this way. Rwandans were content to live in filth until the government and the Mayor made a conscious decision to clean up the city; now it seems as if it has always been that way. To change the service standards in Rwanda will be a mammoth task but it has to start on a management level. A friend of mine once ordered meatballs, when they arrived he noticed they were dripping with blood inside; he asked to speak to the manager who munched on one then put it back on the plate and claimed they were fine.
The management level exists in order to direct change and maintain standards; they are crucial in the fight for higher standards. It would be impossible to train all the waiters and waitresses in Rwanda but we can train managers and they can pass on the training to their workers. The Ministry of Commerce and the Private Sector Federation have to make it compulsory for all public service firms to train their managers in basic customer service. Customer service is a strict discipline and not something that can be done without proper training; it is a series of steps and procedures that have to be drilled into the mind of the service provider.
There are certain factors that affect customer service.
Culture – Whether the culture in stratified or more egalitarian affects the expectations and delivery of service.
Competition – This is required to drive up standards; more competition means better service. However it requires a higher standard to be established first; then when a monetary advantage is gained then all the others copy.
Training – This is necessary to raise standards and is clearly needed in Rwanda.
Pay - People in the service sector need to be paid better so it can be seen as a viable employment choice and not just something you do because you do not have a choice. Tipping would be a good way to introduce performance related bonuses to the service sector. If you feel that you have been treated well then you add a little bonus to the bill, this would make it essential for workers to treat you well. There isn’t a culture of tipping so it would be hard to force people to do so but it will come soon. Maybe adding a service charge would be good.
Promotion and career development – Waiters need to see the prospects of career development in service, training should be provided to help people achieve personal development.
The one expression the drives me mad is “This is Africa!” this is used to cover up any inadequacy that exists. I was in Kampala and saw human shit on the pavement, “this is Africa!” was the refrain. I saw a goat eating rubbish in town, “This is Africa!” I was in Kigali and saw the poor level of service and was told the same “This is Africa!” Since when did African mean to be stupid, unprofessional, lazy, dirty, and corrupt? I am always told never to complain about stuff I see around; everything is judged in the context of where we have come from, this was country where bodies were piled high as hills. So bad service pales into comparison; this is a country where a high sacrifice was paid for what we see here, nearly a million innocents, many of our finest died to liberate this land. Any complaint is seen to be disrespecting all those who died but we cannot improve if we cannot criticise.
It takes a while to learn the language and tone to use to criticize, because Rwandans are sensitive and you have to tell them gently in a very subtle way. The best way is by setting an example; instead of complaining you should set up a good establishment to show the way, it is very easy and the competitive advantage would make it profitable. Soon everyone would be copying you and standards would be up. We have a lot of our East African cousins come here to set up businesses and they have brought with them higher standards in service, they are going to drive Rwandans out of business but the locals will soon learn. One day “this is Africa” will be a positive statement.
Thursday, December 27, 2007
Tuesday, December 11, 2007
NKUNDA - THE REBEL WE LOVE TO HATE
It is ironic that a man called “I love” can engender so much hate from the World. The “Rogue General” is a tag that has stuck and is used as if it were a fact of life, as he is the main belligerent that is causing all the troubles in Congo. Even the UN peacekeepers have declared war on him, the press have vilified him, and even a US government official has called for him to just go away. He is a complex man and is as much a symptom of the Congo crisis as a cause of the crisis. If he were to be removed from the situation then maybe a more virulent rebellion would emerge and even worse eventualities like a Rwandan Invasion again. I had an unfortunate falling out with a good friend who is a VOA correspondent over what I saw was an unfair bias towards the Congolese government view. She tried to be as fair as she could but impartiality is the journalist’s version of a fool’s errand, sometimes no matter what you say to balance it; you will always be accused of bias one way or another. Especially when sides are as entrenched as they are in Congo.
Nkunda is more of a liability than a blessing to Rwanda; few in the outside world take the threat of the FDLR seriously, these genocidal remnants of the old regime are as much a threat to Rwanda as they ever were. True the Rwandan military can deal with the threat easily but they could still cause major carnage. Nkunda has made a number of mistakes that have landed him in this situation and perhaps deserves the “Rogue General” tag; he is generally assumed to have aid from Rwanda but if he did, then he would be fighting for control of Kinshasa and not Mashakye. His grievances are local and so is his scope, besides he can easily fund himself from Coltan mines and wealthy Businessmen.
His first mistake was sticking to the ethnic line; he claims to be a protector of the Tutsi when it is all Congolese in those areas that need protection from him. The Congolese army commits mass-rape, torture, killings, looting and pillages as a matter of course; as was witnessed by Arnaud Zaytman of the BBC when they took Rebel-held towns last week. He described looting and uncontrolled frenzy as they took the town; there were no townsfolk left to rape so it was held to a minimum. Even when the RPF first invaded Rwanda and was a majority Tutsi entity; their agenda was non-ethnic and in due time they were able to achieve support from all sides. By claiming to protect one side he is excluding many potential allies, and that shows that he is purely a reactionary and not a revolutionary.
The tremendous wealth that abounds in Eastern Congo has skewed his thinking and given a whole new dimension to the dynamic. Congo has always been ungovernable; I remember my Grandfather telling me stories of our greatest king Rwabugiri, who conquered parts of Congo only to find it totally unruly. Ironically Rwanda did the same 150 years later and was caught in the same quagmire. The history of Congo is peppered with countless local heroes who shone bright for a while till they were washed away by the river. The Rwandese capture of Congo is the greatest story never told; imagine a country the size of Belgium taking over a country 80 times its size, with 10 times the population. I love to sit with veterans of that war and hear those telling stories of pure insanity and I wonder why the world never hears of them.
Like the Mai-Mai; a mystical cult of savages that believe that dousing water on their bodies gives them immunity from bullets. They came screaming like banshees armed with only two or three rifles as they rush towards you in riot formation, a machinegun simply mowed them down like a harvesting scythe of death. They never stop screaming, even as they die; as they withdraw they inform you that they will be back at 3:45 tomorrow afternoon. And low and behold they arrive on time and screaming again. Every failed attack results in the gruesome death of the “Mama Social” a lady witch who blesses the water and picks the time of attack. The worst times are when they stalk you through the jungle with arrows bringing silent death to columns of soldiers.
The world still understands Congo through the prism of “The Heart of Darkness” a novella written by Josef Conrad over 110 years ago that is in everyway relevant to the current situation in Congo. Many think that the Book is a negative portrayal of Africans but in reality it is as much about the savagery of White men as it is about Primitive Blacks. The line between the Noble Savage and the Savage Noble is constantly blurred; and that is the Congo paradox: it makes corrupt men out of honest ones. Nkunda is Kurtz, Nkunda is Captain Marlowe. That is why I was at odds with my American friend; it is very dangerous to divide people into Heroes and Villains because they are fluidly changing. Nkunda may have started with noble ambitions but the “curse of wealth” struck again. Whatever you say about him he is a freedom-fighter to many, but he is also a multi-millionaire. He has taxed mines, farmers, border traffic to amass a great fortune for himself and his backers. The international dimension cannot be ignored; the information age is driving Nkundas rebellion as foreign companies vie for coltan for Laptop circuitry whatever the human cost. Dell, Toshiba, Hewlett Packard, IBM and all other computer manufacturers are equally culpable for the gang-rape of Congo; Nkunda and Kabila held her down while they ravaged her.
The war has lead to tremendous suffering in the local population; some see this war as not between Nkunda and the Government but a war against innocents. Both sides are accused of serious human rights abuses against women, children, the elderly and all these claims are justified though unverified due to the lack of independent observers on the ground. Mass-rape, torture, and death are widespread; neither side can claim innocence. When I visited Kenya I saw the biased view presented to the world; the government view was prevalent. Joseph Kabila was seen arriving in Goma to finish off the Rogue General; with sheer determination and muscles bounding out of his tight shirt. They presented short straggly mangy imps who they described as Tutsi soldiers who looked more like Eskimos than Tutsi. The government went on an offensive to win the propaganda war first; claiming to have disarmed Hutu militia, protected Tutsi from Nkunda and even giving out their rations to displaced people.
The world lapped it up; the world is fed-up with the Congo crisis after 11 years of it, plus the Rwanda war which started even before in 1990. The crisis is intertwined with Rwanda and the Great Lakes regions as a whole. Even if an almighty military presence wiped Nkunda off the map, there would still be a problem. As much as the world wants an end to this crisis, it will not come easily. Kabila was winning the media war while Nkunda kept silent and soon Kabila transformed that media bias into a real advantage. The world press became his stenographer merely stating what he instructed them. Nkunda was injured, Nkunda was dead, Nkunda was using child-soldiers, Nkunda was committing mass-rape, Nkunda was using human-shields. And Nkunda just kept quiet and soon he went from being a “Rogue” to being a common criminal in eyes of the global media.
His vilification was complete when the UN; supposedly the most impartial of organisations switched sides and started to support Kabila. Bear in mind that the UN has been accused of massive human rights abuses; from mass-rape, plundering minerals, killings of civilians and everything that the Government and rebels have been accused of. So the UN claimed to be impartial while providing logistical and military support to the government; it is like a referee playing as an extra striker for the home team. Nobody in the world media thought this was peculiar; how could the UN take sides? How was this going to make things more peaceful? As Northern Ireland, Sri Lanka, the Basque region in Spain have shown: these matters can take forever to resolve. Ending war and making peace are two different things.
The next few weeks were unnerving; Kabila got air and intelligence support from the UN and the French in particular, he went from strength to strength. The media joined the band-wagon and trumpeted his victories; which seemed hourly. Nkunda seemed to be on the ropes and nearly knocked out by the combination of the FDLR, FARDC, UN and local militias. I was tremendously saddened by these losses and I wondered why; was it just because he was of Rwandan descent? The truth is that his destiny and that of Rwanda are linked. If he loses then that will give such a moral boost to the Hutu militias and Kabila will flex his muscles on the Goma-Gisenyi border. Tutsis in Congo would be wiped off the map; Hutus in Congo would be further oppressed by their own kind.
As unreliable and uncontrollable as he is; the Rwandan government cannot openly support him; neither can they let him fail. The superior artillery gave the Kabila forces a brief advantage and made them drunk on power as they pursued him into the jungle. The cracks in the armour were there for all to see; the Congolese Army is undisciplined, inexperienced, and poorly trained so few have stomach for a fight. Unlike the troops of Nkunda who are fighting for what they see as survival and some them have fought since the RPF invaded in 1996/97. So soon all these gains were being lost, Nkunda moved to guerrilla tactics against an unwieldy giant.
The crisis is bound to continue as Congo is unable to tackle the underlying issues that underpin the crisis. Congo is big and under-developed especially in the East; whole Armies can hide in its jungles undetected. Hutu militia can learn Lingala and Swahili and blend into Congolese units with ease and never be detected. There was a propaganda war to vilify Congolese Tutsis and persecution to drive them from their homes. Today it is impossible for a Congolese Tutsi to live in Kinshasa, Lumumbashi or any of the major cities let alone in rural Eastern areas where death-squads kill them. True citizenship and protection has to be extended to all Congolese provided they are born there, regardless of ethnicity.
Nkunda is not the saviour of his people; some ethnic Tutsis apparently despise him. Maybe because they are war-weary, after years of fighting they just want to go back to living again. The Banyamulenge were given a share of power during the ceasefire but they were swiftly marginalised after the elections and this has spurred on the crisis. Kabila has staked his personal reputation on winning this battle and it looked to be going his way until recently. He has shunned a meeting with Condi Rice, The Pope, and the Africa-EU summit to oversee the elimination of Nkunda. Maybe he fears a military coup hence his reluctance to leave the country but for now he is popular particularly in the East though this could erode if he fails to deliver a decisive blow to his Arch-enemy. But like the FDLR have shown; a rebel group can hide in the mountains for a long-time and he could just lie in wait while playing hit and run. The government of Congo have to see the Hutu militias as a cause of its problems not the solution; then the Rwandan Government could mediate a cessation of hostilities with Nkunda. What I have realised that while Nkunda is the rebel you love to hate; to me he is the rebel I hate to love. The kind of guy you ask “What are you rebelling against?” he says “What you got?”
Nkunda is more of a liability than a blessing to Rwanda; few in the outside world take the threat of the FDLR seriously, these genocidal remnants of the old regime are as much a threat to Rwanda as they ever were. True the Rwandan military can deal with the threat easily but they could still cause major carnage. Nkunda has made a number of mistakes that have landed him in this situation and perhaps deserves the “Rogue General” tag; he is generally assumed to have aid from Rwanda but if he did, then he would be fighting for control of Kinshasa and not Mashakye. His grievances are local and so is his scope, besides he can easily fund himself from Coltan mines and wealthy Businessmen.
His first mistake was sticking to the ethnic line; he claims to be a protector of the Tutsi when it is all Congolese in those areas that need protection from him. The Congolese army commits mass-rape, torture, killings, looting and pillages as a matter of course; as was witnessed by Arnaud Zaytman of the BBC when they took Rebel-held towns last week. He described looting and uncontrolled frenzy as they took the town; there were no townsfolk left to rape so it was held to a minimum. Even when the RPF first invaded Rwanda and was a majority Tutsi entity; their agenda was non-ethnic and in due time they were able to achieve support from all sides. By claiming to protect one side he is excluding many potential allies, and that shows that he is purely a reactionary and not a revolutionary.
The tremendous wealth that abounds in Eastern Congo has skewed his thinking and given a whole new dimension to the dynamic. Congo has always been ungovernable; I remember my Grandfather telling me stories of our greatest king Rwabugiri, who conquered parts of Congo only to find it totally unruly. Ironically Rwanda did the same 150 years later and was caught in the same quagmire. The history of Congo is peppered with countless local heroes who shone bright for a while till they were washed away by the river. The Rwandese capture of Congo is the greatest story never told; imagine a country the size of Belgium taking over a country 80 times its size, with 10 times the population. I love to sit with veterans of that war and hear those telling stories of pure insanity and I wonder why the world never hears of them.
Like the Mai-Mai; a mystical cult of savages that believe that dousing water on their bodies gives them immunity from bullets. They came screaming like banshees armed with only two or three rifles as they rush towards you in riot formation, a machinegun simply mowed them down like a harvesting scythe of death. They never stop screaming, even as they die; as they withdraw they inform you that they will be back at 3:45 tomorrow afternoon. And low and behold they arrive on time and screaming again. Every failed attack results in the gruesome death of the “Mama Social” a lady witch who blesses the water and picks the time of attack. The worst times are when they stalk you through the jungle with arrows bringing silent death to columns of soldiers.
The world still understands Congo through the prism of “The Heart of Darkness” a novella written by Josef Conrad over 110 years ago that is in everyway relevant to the current situation in Congo. Many think that the Book is a negative portrayal of Africans but in reality it is as much about the savagery of White men as it is about Primitive Blacks. The line between the Noble Savage and the Savage Noble is constantly blurred; and that is the Congo paradox: it makes corrupt men out of honest ones. Nkunda is Kurtz, Nkunda is Captain Marlowe. That is why I was at odds with my American friend; it is very dangerous to divide people into Heroes and Villains because they are fluidly changing. Nkunda may have started with noble ambitions but the “curse of wealth” struck again. Whatever you say about him he is a freedom-fighter to many, but he is also a multi-millionaire. He has taxed mines, farmers, border traffic to amass a great fortune for himself and his backers. The international dimension cannot be ignored; the information age is driving Nkundas rebellion as foreign companies vie for coltan for Laptop circuitry whatever the human cost. Dell, Toshiba, Hewlett Packard, IBM and all other computer manufacturers are equally culpable for the gang-rape of Congo; Nkunda and Kabila held her down while they ravaged her.
The war has lead to tremendous suffering in the local population; some see this war as not between Nkunda and the Government but a war against innocents. Both sides are accused of serious human rights abuses against women, children, the elderly and all these claims are justified though unverified due to the lack of independent observers on the ground. Mass-rape, torture, and death are widespread; neither side can claim innocence. When I visited Kenya I saw the biased view presented to the world; the government view was prevalent. Joseph Kabila was seen arriving in Goma to finish off the Rogue General; with sheer determination and muscles bounding out of his tight shirt. They presented short straggly mangy imps who they described as Tutsi soldiers who looked more like Eskimos than Tutsi. The government went on an offensive to win the propaganda war first; claiming to have disarmed Hutu militia, protected Tutsi from Nkunda and even giving out their rations to displaced people.
The world lapped it up; the world is fed-up with the Congo crisis after 11 years of it, plus the Rwanda war which started even before in 1990. The crisis is intertwined with Rwanda and the Great Lakes regions as a whole. Even if an almighty military presence wiped Nkunda off the map, there would still be a problem. As much as the world wants an end to this crisis, it will not come easily. Kabila was winning the media war while Nkunda kept silent and soon Kabila transformed that media bias into a real advantage. The world press became his stenographer merely stating what he instructed them. Nkunda was injured, Nkunda was dead, Nkunda was using child-soldiers, Nkunda was committing mass-rape, Nkunda was using human-shields. And Nkunda just kept quiet and soon he went from being a “Rogue” to being a common criminal in eyes of the global media.
His vilification was complete when the UN; supposedly the most impartial of organisations switched sides and started to support Kabila. Bear in mind that the UN has been accused of massive human rights abuses; from mass-rape, plundering minerals, killings of civilians and everything that the Government and rebels have been accused of. So the UN claimed to be impartial while providing logistical and military support to the government; it is like a referee playing as an extra striker for the home team. Nobody in the world media thought this was peculiar; how could the UN take sides? How was this going to make things more peaceful? As Northern Ireland, Sri Lanka, the Basque region in Spain have shown: these matters can take forever to resolve. Ending war and making peace are two different things.
The next few weeks were unnerving; Kabila got air and intelligence support from the UN and the French in particular, he went from strength to strength. The media joined the band-wagon and trumpeted his victories; which seemed hourly. Nkunda seemed to be on the ropes and nearly knocked out by the combination of the FDLR, FARDC, UN and local militias. I was tremendously saddened by these losses and I wondered why; was it just because he was of Rwandan descent? The truth is that his destiny and that of Rwanda are linked. If he loses then that will give such a moral boost to the Hutu militias and Kabila will flex his muscles on the Goma-Gisenyi border. Tutsis in Congo would be wiped off the map; Hutus in Congo would be further oppressed by their own kind.
As unreliable and uncontrollable as he is; the Rwandan government cannot openly support him; neither can they let him fail. The superior artillery gave the Kabila forces a brief advantage and made them drunk on power as they pursued him into the jungle. The cracks in the armour were there for all to see; the Congolese Army is undisciplined, inexperienced, and poorly trained so few have stomach for a fight. Unlike the troops of Nkunda who are fighting for what they see as survival and some them have fought since the RPF invaded in 1996/97. So soon all these gains were being lost, Nkunda moved to guerrilla tactics against an unwieldy giant.
The crisis is bound to continue as Congo is unable to tackle the underlying issues that underpin the crisis. Congo is big and under-developed especially in the East; whole Armies can hide in its jungles undetected. Hutu militia can learn Lingala and Swahili and blend into Congolese units with ease and never be detected. There was a propaganda war to vilify Congolese Tutsis and persecution to drive them from their homes. Today it is impossible for a Congolese Tutsi to live in Kinshasa, Lumumbashi or any of the major cities let alone in rural Eastern areas where death-squads kill them. True citizenship and protection has to be extended to all Congolese provided they are born there, regardless of ethnicity.
Nkunda is not the saviour of his people; some ethnic Tutsis apparently despise him. Maybe because they are war-weary, after years of fighting they just want to go back to living again. The Banyamulenge were given a share of power during the ceasefire but they were swiftly marginalised after the elections and this has spurred on the crisis. Kabila has staked his personal reputation on winning this battle and it looked to be going his way until recently. He has shunned a meeting with Condi Rice, The Pope, and the Africa-EU summit to oversee the elimination of Nkunda. Maybe he fears a military coup hence his reluctance to leave the country but for now he is popular particularly in the East though this could erode if he fails to deliver a decisive blow to his Arch-enemy. But like the FDLR have shown; a rebel group can hide in the mountains for a long-time and he could just lie in wait while playing hit and run. The government of Congo have to see the Hutu militias as a cause of its problems not the solution; then the Rwandan Government could mediate a cessation of hostilities with Nkunda. What I have realised that while Nkunda is the rebel you love to hate; to me he is the rebel I hate to love. The kind of guy you ask “What are you rebelling against?” he says “What you got?”
Tuesday, December 4, 2007
THE RULES OF BARGAINING
Having been back in Africa for about three and a half months now; I realised certain truths. Firstly I have been paying too much for everything; I have been ripped off at every opportunity. It is now time to get back what I gave away and the rules of bargaining will help me achieve this. There is now such thing as a price in Africa; it is what you are willing to pay. I am used to Europe, when you walk in a shop and see something costs £2.99 it means it costs £2.99. I was in Tesco with my Dad in Reading when he made me cringe by starting to bargain with the check-out girl. “If I gave you £5 can I get 3?” She had the most vacant look on her face like “What the hell is this guy smoking?” But that is natural in Africa, you can always bargain your way out of everything, even a prison sentence. “Your Honour, 5 years for the robbery and 2 years to run concurrently for the conspiracy, that’s my final offer.”
I realise I have been paying too much for stuff, I now pay 400Rwf for a Moto ride where I used to pay 1000. I now buy stuff for a third of the price as standard. I have learnt the rules of bargaining that have remained the same since the Stone age and have saved Billions of people billions since the dawn of mankind. The moto-riders are my favourites; they tell you how it is. I agreed a fee of 300Rwf with him for 2 km journey, I told him the general area I was going – SONATUBE to see my brother. We set off, when we got to a hill he started complaining “you’re a bit heavy” then “it’s a bit further than you said” when we got there the price was 700Rwf. I was gasping at the hike, he then went into a long lecture about the macro and micro economic factors that led to the hike.
Firstly he said the price of oil was $100 a barrel, the dollar was weak thus driving inflation, and his wife was spending more than he could earn, plus I was fat basically. Of course he wasn’t as eloquent as that but I really admired his chutzpah and let him have the money saying I would curse the money before I let him have it but he wasn’t bothered. I sat there wondering whether I was fat or not, I concluded that I was just heavy because I still fit into my jeans and 100kg is just heavy not fat. I realised that bargaining has no instant winners and losers; you realise in the long run. For example I bought an electrical adaptor; the first price was 5000, I cut the bullshit and offered 2000 and started to walk off but he said “OK just pay!” I was smug till I got home and realised the adaptor didn’t fit my three-pronged plugs.
It’s like in the Simpson’s when Homer shouted at Marge “You said we couldn’t go wrong buying a TV for $20 and look, 12 years later it breaks down.” Only when something lasts long enough to justify your spending can you say it was value for money. It is really tedious to try and buy something; it takes longer than it should do. In Europe you walk for hours looking for bargains but in Africa you talk for hours looking for Bargains, either way you are exhausted.
The rules of bargaining follow simple steps and in African culture it is important to follow them through.
One - Say hello, don’t go straight into the bargain coz he’ll over-charge you, try to establish a rapport. Ask about his family and stuff, talk about how hard times are financially. Always state that you are tired and haven’t eaten all day.
Two – Don’t look too interested, inquire about other stuff. Establish a first price, this will always be roughly double to three times what you will actually pay. Always react angrily to this first price, say that you feel offended by his audacity.
Three- Offer 1/3 of what he offered and start to walk away, he will offer 20% off , look a bit more interested but still disdainful.
Four – Offer 40% of his price, start to criticize the quality of the goods, if it is a tomato say it is rotten, if it is a TV say it is too small, and so forth.
Five – Hold it in your hands and look really keen, then suddenly hand it back. Make it look so close yet so far. And start to walk off and he will offer what you wanted.
That is the problem with Africa, how much tax does he pay? How can the government even know? What rate does he pay? How can someone even know what the proper price of stuff is? No wonder inflation can just jump sometimes; everyone is trying to rip you off. I used to see a taxi-driver just sit there for hours waiting for a customer and when one came along, he’d try to get the most out of them. I asked him why he didn’t just offer lower prices instead of just sitting there all day. He said “There are no nice guys in business.”
We need price-structures, not general price-ranges; we cannot just make up prices as we go.
Having been back in Africa for about three and a half months now; I realised certain truths. Firstly I have been paying too much for everything; I have been ripped off at every opportunity. It is now time to get back what I gave away and the rules of bargaining will help me achieve this. There is now such thing as a price in Africa; it is what you are willing to pay. I am used to Europe, when you walk in a shop and see something costs £2.99 it means it costs £2.99. I was in Tesco with my Dad in Reading when he made me cringe by starting to bargain with the check-out girl. “If I gave you £5 can I get 3?” She had the most vacant look on her face like “What the hell is this guy smoking?” But that is natural in Africa, you can always bargain your way out of everything, even a prison sentence. “Your Honour, 5 years for the robbery and 2 years to run concurrently for the conspiracy, that’s my final offer.”
I realise I have been paying too much for stuff, I now pay 400Rwf for a Moto ride where I used to pay 1000. I now buy stuff for a third of the price as standard. I have learnt the rules of bargaining that have remained the same since the Stone age and have saved Billions of people billions since the dawn of mankind. The moto-riders are my favourites; they tell you how it is. I agreed a fee of 300Rwf with him for 2 km journey, I told him the general area I was going – SONATUBE to see my brother. We set off, when we got to a hill he started complaining “you’re a bit heavy” then “it’s a bit further than you said” when we got there the price was 700Rwf. I was gasping at the hike, he then went into a long lecture about the macro and micro economic factors that led to the hike.
Firstly he said the price of oil was $100 a barrel, the dollar was weak thus driving inflation, and his wife was spending more than he could earn, plus I was fat basically. Of course he wasn’t as eloquent as that but I really admired his chutzpah and let him have the money saying I would curse the money before I let him have it but he wasn’t bothered. I sat there wondering whether I was fat or not, I concluded that I was just heavy because I still fit into my jeans and 100kg is just heavy not fat. I realised that bargaining has no instant winners and losers; you realise in the long run. For example I bought an electrical adaptor; the first price was 5000, I cut the bullshit and offered 2000 and started to walk off but he said “OK just pay!” I was smug till I got home and realised the adaptor didn’t fit my three-pronged plugs.
It’s like in the Simpson’s when Homer shouted at Marge “You said we couldn’t go wrong buying a TV for $20 and look, 12 years later it breaks down.” Only when something lasts long enough to justify your spending can you say it was value for money. It is really tedious to try and buy something; it takes longer than it should do. In Europe you walk for hours looking for bargains but in Africa you talk for hours looking for Bargains, either way you are exhausted.
The rules of bargaining follow simple steps and in African culture it is important to follow them through.
One - Say hello, don’t go straight into the bargain coz he’ll over-charge you, try to establish a rapport. Ask about his family and stuff, talk about how hard times are financially. Always state that you are tired and haven’t eaten all day.
Two – Don’t look too interested, inquire about other stuff. Establish a first price, this will always be roughly double to three times what you will actually pay. Always react angrily to this first price, say that you feel offended by his audacity.
Three- Offer 1/3 of what he offered and start to walk away, he will offer 20% off , look a bit more interested but still disdainful.
Four – Offer 40% of his price, start to criticize the quality of the goods, if it is a tomato say it is rotten, if it is a TV say it is too small, and so forth.
Five – Hold it in your hands and look really keen, then suddenly hand it back. Make it look so close yet so far. And start to walk off and he will offer what you wanted.
That is the problem with Africa, how much tax does he pay? How can the government even know? What rate does he pay? How can someone even know what the proper price of stuff is? No wonder inflation can just jump sometimes; everyone is trying to rip you off. I used to see a taxi-driver just sit there for hours waiting for a customer and when one came along, he’d try to get the most out of them. I asked him why he didn’t just offer lower prices instead of just sitting there all day. He said “There are no nice guys in business.”
We need price-structures, not general price-ranges; we cannot just make up prices as we go.
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