STRIP HEAVEN
Every year without fail I saved my £50 ($100) for a new football strip, it was always the most expensive item of clothing I owned; I would never spend $100 on a shirt even if it was Versace. It was usually exactly the same as the previous one but with a minor tweak; a line here, a swirl there, a dash of a new colour on the collar. Sometimes they would change the sponsor; like when Spurs went from Holsten to Hewlett Packard, or when Arsenal went from JVC to SEGA to O2 to Emirates. Every time that happened all fans had to buy a new strip or risk looking like a distinct tit on the terrace or road. I can’t remember when I started supporting Spurs, maybe in 1984 when I watched them win the UEFA Cup and they were the only team I knew the players by heart. I am a cynic all truth be told; I went into football swearing not to support a team but found myself deeply in love with Spurs. In the 80’s they played the best and most open football, we didn’t care what the score was, just if the goal we scored was better than all their four. As a Spurs man I have dedicated myself to a life of misery on the whole but I wouldn’t have it any other way. Most Africans prefer support a big team; Arsenal is bigger than the National team because people cry more after an Arsenal loss than at family funerals. I was once in a kabare’ watching Arsenal lose when the place was deadly silent, not a cough.
As a Spurs fan it is my duty to hate Arsenal and all their fans, in England it is proper apartheid, they stay away from each other, the are called the enemy. It is the beautiful game; Spurs had Danny Blanchflower, Jimmy Greaves, Ossie Ardiles, Glenn Hoddle, Chris Waddle, Paul Gascoigne, Teddy Sheringham, David Ginola, and so many other minor legends that make football great. I remember meeting random Spurs players; even shit players were bathed in this glow of awesomeness. Justin Edinburgh is considered by scientists to be the worst player ever, even worse than Curtis Fleming; the Pele of shit players. I watched Sky TV doing 100 goals of the season sometime in the mid 90’s and Justin Edinburgh was in all but 2 of the clips; he was even in the clips for teams he wasn’t even playing for. Saying that, if he came and sat next to me then I’d be like “Oh shit Justin Edinburgh I’m your biggest fan, can I have your autograph, please? I loved your free-kick against Colchester in the league cup in 1994, you’re one of the greatest left-backs ever, you should have played for England, that Winterburn was overrated.”
It is not that I am a hypocrite; I think Edinburgh is the worst player ever but I am a great fan because I invested so much in him; he won us an FA cup and League cup. What I am saying is there is a Justin Edinburgh for every team, a Justin Edinburgh in all of us. Justin Edinburgh’s are essential to football like small fry and plankton keep whales alive in the food chain; you need that shitty player to make the great player great. Like when Cantona flicked the ball twice over Carlton Palmer; he is still bamboozled to this day and hasn’t been able to close his mouth since. Every year I bought my strip loyally, from HOLSTEN, HEWLETT, back to HOLSTEN, THOMSON, and MANSION. Somewhere I have about 8 or 9 shirts, most people throw their shirts away or give them to Oxfam; these strips somehow end up in Africa, almost every one owns an old football strip. You can be walking down the road and spot a Wycombe Wanderers away strip from the 93-94 season, as a fan of football shirts it is great to see them having such functionality after they are discarded.
I remember walking past some Brazilian fans in London and I spotted a Cruzeiro fan and he was shocked that I knew them; I can pass any test on football strips even if the logos as covered. It is marketing that echoes through the ages the Wycombe shirt had VERCO who I thought went out of business but are still in the minds of random Africans. Cheapo polyester that itches you skin and is extremely flammable, but yours for £50 now, even more to put your player’s name and number on the back. I remember one Xmas when I couldn’t come home to see my brother; so I just sent him a Liverpool shirt with his name on the back; my only shame is that I never saw his face when he got it, I can picture it and to this day it is his best prized posession. When I got my first spurs shirt I treated it like gold; I couldn’t even bring myself to wear it, until next season when I got a new one. And these shirts end up being worn by the poorest people in the country, go to the poorest church and all the men are smart in their old football strips, it is kinda like a suit. So when fans do a carbon footprint report on football strips made cheaply in China, then transported to UK, then to Africa, they will find it is worth it to see these old strips given a place to grow old in dignity. A place where football strips can be treated with care, and loved, some football strips are really traumatised after abuse by previous owners.
It is great as you can see old names like NEC (Everton), Tandy (Liverpool), Sanderson (Sheffield Wednesday), Colmans (Norwich), Labatts (Nottingham Forest), Coors (Chelsea), even a Barnet or Shrewsbury strip can turn up and the wearer will be an unwitting fan. Sometimes it breeds loyalty, Spurs fans are as rare as unicorns in Rwanda; I thought I was all alone but recently I was watching Spurs-Man U at a local pub when I noticed another fan cheering the goal and was shocked. He just decided to support them after buying the shirt. Rwanda is 70% Arsenal (Abasenari), 20% Man U (Menchestre Unatedi) and Liverpool and Chelsea make up 9.9 of the rest. The remaining 0.1 % supports other teams so it is very rare to see someone support a team steadily. It is common to hear “Last year I was Arsenal but now I’m Chelsea, but I also support Manchester and Liverpool.” Africans are fickle, they support who they think will win, not the best team, this extends to politics where African also support whoever is more likely to win or whatever tribe. I love the colour and designs of random strips that brighten the lives of countless Africans as they proudly display loyalty to their shirts that were discarded like rags.
Every year without fail I saved my £50 ($100) for a new football strip, it was always the most expensive item of clothing I owned; I would never spend $100 on a shirt even if it was Versace. It was usually exactly the same as the previous one but with a minor tweak; a line here, a swirl there, a dash of a new colour on the collar. Sometimes they would change the sponsor; like when Spurs went from Holsten to Hewlett Packard, or when Arsenal went from JVC to SEGA to O2 to Emirates. Every time that happened all fans had to buy a new strip or risk looking like a distinct tit on the terrace or road. I can’t remember when I started supporting Spurs, maybe in 1984 when I watched them win the UEFA Cup and they were the only team I knew the players by heart. I am a cynic all truth be told; I went into football swearing not to support a team but found myself deeply in love with Spurs. In the 80’s they played the best and most open football, we didn’t care what the score was, just if the goal we scored was better than all their four. As a Spurs man I have dedicated myself to a life of misery on the whole but I wouldn’t have it any other way. Most Africans prefer support a big team; Arsenal is bigger than the National team because people cry more after an Arsenal loss than at family funerals. I was once in a kabare’ watching Arsenal lose when the place was deadly silent, not a cough.
As a Spurs fan it is my duty to hate Arsenal and all their fans, in England it is proper apartheid, they stay away from each other, the are called the enemy. It is the beautiful game; Spurs had Danny Blanchflower, Jimmy Greaves, Ossie Ardiles, Glenn Hoddle, Chris Waddle, Paul Gascoigne, Teddy Sheringham, David Ginola, and so many other minor legends that make football great. I remember meeting random Spurs players; even shit players were bathed in this glow of awesomeness. Justin Edinburgh is considered by scientists to be the worst player ever, even worse than Curtis Fleming; the Pele of shit players. I watched Sky TV doing 100 goals of the season sometime in the mid 90’s and Justin Edinburgh was in all but 2 of the clips; he was even in the clips for teams he wasn’t even playing for. Saying that, if he came and sat next to me then I’d be like “Oh shit Justin Edinburgh I’m your biggest fan, can I have your autograph, please? I loved your free-kick against Colchester in the league cup in 1994, you’re one of the greatest left-backs ever, you should have played for England, that Winterburn was overrated.”
It is not that I am a hypocrite; I think Edinburgh is the worst player ever but I am a great fan because I invested so much in him; he won us an FA cup and League cup. What I am saying is there is a Justin Edinburgh for every team, a Justin Edinburgh in all of us. Justin Edinburgh’s are essential to football like small fry and plankton keep whales alive in the food chain; you need that shitty player to make the great player great. Like when Cantona flicked the ball twice over Carlton Palmer; he is still bamboozled to this day and hasn’t been able to close his mouth since. Every year I bought my strip loyally, from HOLSTEN, HEWLETT, back to HOLSTEN, THOMSON, and MANSION. Somewhere I have about 8 or 9 shirts, most people throw their shirts away or give them to Oxfam; these strips somehow end up in Africa, almost every one owns an old football strip. You can be walking down the road and spot a Wycombe Wanderers away strip from the 93-94 season, as a fan of football shirts it is great to see them having such functionality after they are discarded.
I remember walking past some Brazilian fans in London and I spotted a Cruzeiro fan and he was shocked that I knew them; I can pass any test on football strips even if the logos as covered. It is marketing that echoes through the ages the Wycombe shirt had VERCO who I thought went out of business but are still in the minds of random Africans. Cheapo polyester that itches you skin and is extremely flammable, but yours for £50 now, even more to put your player’s name and number on the back. I remember one Xmas when I couldn’t come home to see my brother; so I just sent him a Liverpool shirt with his name on the back; my only shame is that I never saw his face when he got it, I can picture it and to this day it is his best prized posession. When I got my first spurs shirt I treated it like gold; I couldn’t even bring myself to wear it, until next season when I got a new one. And these shirts end up being worn by the poorest people in the country, go to the poorest church and all the men are smart in their old football strips, it is kinda like a suit. So when fans do a carbon footprint report on football strips made cheaply in China, then transported to UK, then to Africa, they will find it is worth it to see these old strips given a place to grow old in dignity. A place where football strips can be treated with care, and loved, some football strips are really traumatised after abuse by previous owners.
It is great as you can see old names like NEC (Everton), Tandy (Liverpool), Sanderson (Sheffield Wednesday), Colmans (Norwich), Labatts (Nottingham Forest), Coors (Chelsea), even a Barnet or Shrewsbury strip can turn up and the wearer will be an unwitting fan. Sometimes it breeds loyalty, Spurs fans are as rare as unicorns in Rwanda; I thought I was all alone but recently I was watching Spurs-Man U at a local pub when I noticed another fan cheering the goal and was shocked. He just decided to support them after buying the shirt. Rwanda is 70% Arsenal (Abasenari), 20% Man U (Menchestre Unatedi) and Liverpool and Chelsea make up 9.9 of the rest. The remaining 0.1 % supports other teams so it is very rare to see someone support a team steadily. It is common to hear “Last year I was Arsenal but now I’m Chelsea, but I also support Manchester and Liverpool.” Africans are fickle, they support who they think will win, not the best team, this extends to politics where African also support whoever is more likely to win or whatever tribe. I love the colour and designs of random strips that brighten the lives of countless Africans as they proudly display loyalty to their shirts that were discarded like rags.
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