NRS

NRS: THE DISEASE AFFLICTING RWANDA

Doctors in Rwanda are having to deal with a new illness which seems to be affecting mainly middle-class individuals. It attacks suddenly without warning, the symptoms are sometimes hard to detect but they are deadly. It is caused by a virus that attacks the brain, rendering the victim senseless, tasteless, and numb. Its infection rate correlates to economic growth and prosperity much like gout or obesity. Scientists refer to it as Blingitis or NRS (Nouveau Riche Syndrome) it was first identified in France in the 18th century and has spread around the world, particularly in the 20th century. It takes an outsider to really notice the symptoms; my best friend came from England and was more observant than I would have been. We went to Serena Hotel for “happy hour” where drinks are just expensive as opposed to unaffordable. We didn’t order “the finest wines available to humanity” as Withnail said. We had just a couple of draught beers, a whiskey, Martini for the lady and were hit with a bill for $50. We were then informed that happy hour starts at 7pm. Ouch! We drank more just to drown our sorrows.


All around us were Rwandans who were totally unconcerned about the extortionate prices and merely basked in the expensive glow of Rwanda’s premier hotel; they even wished the prices were higher to increase the kudos they received. This was the first symptom of NRS; the inability to see when you being overcharged, the left part of the cerebral cortex that identifies scams is paralysed. The fact is that Serena is cheap by global standards, an English friend of mine thought he got the bargain of the century when he ate at a 5-star restaurant for $40 and ran away quickly before they could change their minds and bring the real bill. When I first arrived here I thought all things were cheap as I was counting in British Pounds, so 20p for a soda? 40p for a beer? 15p for a 5km bus ride? Everything was cheap but as you settle here you realise it is quite expensive and relative to the average wages, very expensive.


Sitting here on my veranda in one of the few quiet areas in Kigali, Kacyiru (this is because the Senate and the Presidents office are nearby) I look across at the most sublime views in Rwanda. Nyarutarama straight ahead, with its golf course, Gaculiro 20-20 Estate to the left and Kibagabaga to the right are impressive signs of development and planning. A number of skilled people have taken advantage of this growth spurt and live lives comparable to Western standards but this has given them NRS. The symptoms are as follows;

· Feeling the need to buy a 4x4, this gives you the advantage of looking down on everybody while avoiding the occasional pothole.
· Feeling the need to talk on your cellphone all the time to show you are important.
· Paying more than is necessary for everything.
· Never spending time with your children and letting servants do the parenting
· Having as many servants as possible, preferably doing nothing, like having a servant whose only job is polishing your shoes.
· Spending more than you earn to keep up with others.
· Feeling the need to see and be seen at certain hotspots like Bourbon, MTN, UTC, Serena etc
· Feeling the need to cut yourself off from your less well off friends.
· General arrogance and looking down at everybody.


These symptoms are some of the signs of NRS; the disparity between rich and poor seriously highlights the signs of this disease. The opposite of this is PBS (Poor beggars Syndrome) which mostly affects the poor or the just plain lazy. People with PBS seek out people with NRS to solve their problems. I was on the bus to Gisenyi waiting to depart; I was sat there in my sunglasses, leaned back in relaxation when a half-rotten hand grazed my nose. This beggar with leprosy had just shoved it in my face for maximum effect. I told him to “piss off” in a rare burst of profanity cursed by a fear of leprosy, all the way to Gisenyi I panicked as I thought my nose had leprosy. I wondered if it would fall off like the fingers of the man who infected me, when I got back on Monday I was furiously googling leprosy and its symptoms, so if my nose ever falls off then you know why. The other day I was outside Novotel at the petrol station when this girl asked me “wa’ mfunguriye?” meaning she hadn’t eaten all day and she wanted me to give her the first meal of the day. I callously laughed and laughed some more, before you think I am a bastard I must mention she was fat, very fat and in need of a serious diet. It is really hard to feel sorry for a person who is starving but has three months of fat reserves, maybe I am getting NRS, the headaches, nausea, cynicism are a giveaway.


Every society goes through NRS, when there is a sudden burst of economic growth and sudden social elevation; those recently elevated people feel the need to announce their arrival on the scene. Much like Rappers with their bling-bling or Russian oligarchs buying football clubs, the need to show off is irresistible. The totemic symbols of wealth soon come to replace the wealth itself, so the 4x4, the designer labels, the house in the suburbs, the socialising; become the wealth itself. It is called commodity fetishism. When I first arrived here my cousin came around to take me for a celebratory drink; he pulled up in a brand new 4x4 Prado and we went out and had a blast, when the bill came he looked the other way and refused to acknowledge or recognise it; like he was Iran and the bill was Israel. As I paid it I looked out at his $50,000 car asked where he got the money for it. He said it was a loan; he is paying 22% on a $50,000 car that is depreciating at 20% a year. I asked him if this was wise, he said “If I don’t have that car then nobody will do business with me.” It is like in Czarist Russia when the St Petersburg courtiers looked lavish and had splendid Palaces which were empty inside with beds of straw.


In Rwanda you have to look the part before you people take you seriously; I went to a bank to try to open a company bank account and they treated me a vagabond, when I told them that my company would have a healthy turnover of foreign currency they just laughed. This was because I was dressed in a t-shirt and jeans, they told me to come back when I grow up. The fact is that even if Bill Gates walked in there without a suit he would be kicked out; in Rwanda the Rich look rich and Poor look poor. It is very different in Europe where the rich are desperate to look like normal regular people. The Earl of Macclesfield lived near my house in Oxfordshire; this man owned land as far as the eye could see, with his own forest, several farms, even a town belonged to him but if you ever saw him you’d be amazed, he wore dirty jeans, gum boots, and a worn out sweater. He avoided flouting his wealth because the taxman would tax him more.

The truly rich in Rwanda are the same; when I first saw Rujugiro (our mogul) I was struck by how humble and simply dressed he was, he wasn’t trying to show off. Keeping up with the Jones’ is a problem all humans have faced ever since the stone-age. I sometimes imagine a stone-age housewife nagging her husband “Those guys next door have bronze-age tools while we’ve got these old stone-age ones. We need to get into the bronze-age!” One-upmanship is what has driven the human race to where it is now, from; the stone-age, to the Bronze-age, iron-age, industrial age, to the current information age. This said we shouldn’t live beyond our means especially for mindless material goods. Every time I see a monster 4x4 I see a medium-sized business that could have been. We need to identify the ends from the means, the fruit from the tree; we need to see if these goods are going to help us to get where we want to go or whether these goods are the vindication of our character.